lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
