stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
