whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I AM VODKA MAN
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
What happened to fro yo and sex?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
