I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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