Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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