i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
