i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
