I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
