i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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