I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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