at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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