So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
