yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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