even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
