I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
