He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
