i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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