Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
