where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize