Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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