i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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