dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
