So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
