Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I would fuck him just for his dog
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
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