so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
