ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize