they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
