"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
