your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
