Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
