let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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