how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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