i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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