lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
