I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
