I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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