I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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