why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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