Already got asked if we're dating
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize