He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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