Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
