You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
