Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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