I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
MIDGETS
????
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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