why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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