He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
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