It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
