drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
