well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
FUCK WHALES
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