Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
