My room smells like vodka and shame
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
