the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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