tell your sister to shave her snatch
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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