Sponge bath it is.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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