dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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