operation harelip BJ is a go
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Randomize
