ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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