I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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