wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
