you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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