all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
