dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
