Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
