I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
